All it takes is one mistake to change a person huh? I really miss the way he used to be back then. Instead of the jerk he is today. Nowadays, I just ask myself why am I still around? Shouldn't I be off with someone else? Possibly having a better time than I am now? Crying myself to sleep isn't just a once in awhile thing anymore, but rather yet, it's becoming a routine. It hurts so much to let him go. Then in return, it's causing so much pain to keep him around. Maybe my friend was right, that I'm just causing myself more pain and grief. Both of which I shouldn't have to be dealing with right now.
What's really bothering me is that I don't know if he's just using my mistake as an excuse to talk to others. I really should of let it go at the time. But as blind as I was, I thought things would return to normal. I am one stupiddddd human being.
So I sent him a message yesterday.. I know for a fact that I wouldn't be able to live up to the things I've promised. They're just too hard. Is he really worth going through all this for? Am I really happy inside? Or am I still indecisive? Am I really willing to share him?

Gosh.
I can't fucken sleep for more than 6 hours nowadays.

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